Funny Instagram Captions
- Wonder if life smokes after it fucks me.
- I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
- I’m a Texan with bunches of sentiments and beautiful hair.
- Mom: Why is everything on the floor? Me: Gravity!
- Well, my mom was right about everything…
- I might look innocent, but I screenshot a lot.
- Monday should be optional.
- Brains are awesome, I wish everyone had one.
- Be a pineapple. Be horny, but also sweet.
- The hours between coffee and wine really are pointless.
- Wait, don’t leave! Let me open the door for you.
- My goal this weekend is to move, just enough so people don’t think I’m dead.
- Not all men are fools, some stay bachelor.
- I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
- Twenty-four-hour alcohol diet.
- Pics or it didn’t happen.
- I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.
- No offense to me but wtf am I doing.
- Chocolate please because adulting is hard.
- Never not late.
- My boss told me to have a good day. So, I went home.
- I wonder how many calories I burn daily by jumping to conclusions.
- If you look really closely, you can see me not caring.
- If I was funny, I would have a good Instagram caption.
- Marriage is like a workshop where the husband works and wife shops.
- Memes are just a normal post if you don’t have a friend to tag.
- My mobile camera isn’t working well. Or I might look like an angel.
- I am currently experiencing life at the speed of WTF’s per hour.
- My book club only reads wine labels.
- On Cloud Wine.
- I just used to crastinate, I’m so good, I went Pro!
- I’m not a bitch, I’m a BOSS BITCH.
- The only BS I need in my life is bags and shoes.
- A meal without wine is breakfast.
- Ninety-nine problems but a beach ain’t one.
- Be a badass with a good ass.
- The real reason women live longer than men because they don’t have to live with women.
- Underestimate me, that’ll be fun.
- Friday, my second favorite F word.
- There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
- I’m a better person when in tan.
- Better late than ugly.
- In memory of when I cared.
- I enjoy long romantic walks down the wine aisle.
- Love yourself like Kanye loves Kanye.
- Men’s perfumes are better than men themselves, honestly.
- There are not enough rap songs about staying home on a Friday night!
- You miss 100% of the dogs you don’t pet.
- I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look these days in public places.
- That’s enough toadying for today. I’m done.
- A balanced diet is a bottle of wine in each hand.
- I like hashtags because they look like waffles.
- What do you call an owl that does magic tricks? Hoodini.
- There is maybe no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
- Don’t interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle. Chances are, you’ll hear some crosswords.
- I am a ninja. No, you are not. Did you see me do that? Do what? Exactly.
- I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.
- Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
- Reality called, so I hung up.
- I’m on a date, she isn’t very social.
- I’m in desperate need of a 6-month vacation…twice a year.
- I’m on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
- I need a six month holiday, twice a year
- If a dentist makes their money from unhealthy teeth, why would I trust a product 4/5 of them recommend?
- How did I get back to my crib last night
- we made it, it’s Friday!
- Just dropped my new single! It’s me. I’m single.
- We are all born crazy. Some of us remain that way.
- Even I don’t believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in five minutes.
- You laugh. I laugh. You cry. I cry. You jump off a really tall cliff. I yell, “Do a flip!”
- Good friends will share the umbrella. Best friends will steal it and yell: Run loser Run!
- Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
- Friday, my second favorite F word
- Life isn’t perfect..But my Hair is! #selfieaddict
- May your coffee be hot and your eyeliner even.
- You never know what you have, until you clean your closet.
- May your day feel as good as taking this perfect selfie on the first try.
- There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
- The moment when she says you’re cute.
- Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Some are made of wine, sarcasm and everything fine.
- You think i am dumb? You should meet my best friend.
- A blind man walks into a bar And a chair and a table.
- Girls and boys are like parking spaces. the good ones are always taken.
- A friend in need is a friend to be avoided.
- What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram.
- If a dentist makes their money from unhealthy teeth, why would I trust a product 4/5 of them recommend?
- If I was funny, I would have a good Instagram caption.
- Yes, of course, I am athletic… I surf the Internet every day.
- I need to be nice to her/him, she/he is going to pay for my food.
- I think you are lacking Vitamin me!
- Need an ark? I Noah guy.
- My relationship status – track pants, Oreos and Netflix.
- I had fun once, it was horrible.
- Someone said life is like a box of chocolates. Why do I get all the nutty ones?
- I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open, looking for answers. Also food.
- I was a really good kid, but then i met my best friend.
- I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
- So, you’re on Instagram? You must be an amazing photographer.
- I’m your worst nightmare.
- Hey girl, feel my sweater. Know what it’s made of? Boyfriend material.
- If I was funny, I would have a good Instagram caption.
- I would move mountains for my friends, but not real ones. Because i can’t. Maybe mound of dirt, but not too mucky because my skin.
- I think you are lacking vitamin me!
- What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram.
- Ladies, please.
- Need an ark? I Noah guy.
- I don’t always study, but when I do, I don’t.
- I’ll never try to fit in. I was born to STAND OUT.
- So you’re telling me I have a chance.
- Walking past a class with your friends in it.
- I’m not saying it was aliens, but it was Aliens!
- Yea, dating is cool but have you ever had stuffed crust pizza?
- Started from the bottom now we’re here.
- Stop worrying about the potholes on the road. Just enjoy the journey.
- Get a cat they said, it would be funny they said.
- What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram.
- Give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurt.
- I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell-you see, I have friends in both places.
- If you are reading this, you should go back to your work!
- So, you’re on Instagram? You must be an amazing photographer.
please don't be cheap to share this collections to your friends.
